Or, An Open letter to the morons that sat behind us on the flight from JFK to SYR

JFK in New York City is a busy airport. Well, NYC is big after all, so I'm sure it won't shock you to learn that JFK is, in fact, one of the world's busiest airports. There are no less than eight terminals at JFK – each with a good many departure gates. Planes are coming and going all the time. Let me just make this abundantly clear: There's a huge volume of air traffic in and out of JFK – and for that matter, with two other major airports, in and out of NYC in general.

Logically, given the air traffic situation at JFK, one would think most people would expect delays while awaiting takeoff. Clearly, however, you're a little more dense than most people, and you don't think logically.

Let me put this simply. To avoid accidents, planes need to give one another a wide berth. They can't simply take off one after another. They have to wait a minute or two so that they don't crash into one another. So if you've got 20 planes in line, you can expect to wait 40 or 50 minutes for your takeoff. I assure you that complaining will NOT move you ahead in the queue. It simply keeps your mind on the issue at hand, and time will crawl for you. I recommend instead doing some light reading to help pass the time, rather than spouting bile that clearly shows your own sense of self-importance. That approach only serves to irritate those in your vicinity. Let me assure you, you are not THAT important.

No, you are no more important than the people on the plane in front of you. No, it's not feasible for your plane to cut in line and take off before the others already in queue. You clearly felt it was your prerogative to be able to take off first. It's not.

In the future, should you wish to continue using the airlines for your transportation needs, I would recommend you consider flying through another airport. Flying through somewhere less congested – Cincinatti, perhaps, or Detroit – might help you lower your stress level around flying. One thing that won't help your stress level is confrontation. Becoming surly with the flight attendant and misbehaving – turning on your cell phone and making a call just before takeoff, for example,  when you were clearly told to turn it off – will do nothing to make your experience any better. Nor will it endear you to your fellow passengers.

Now I know what you're thinking: I barely know you. Really, apart from the hour I had to sit and listen to you gripe to one another about how hard done by you were for having to wait 50 minutes for takeoff, I've never had any interaction with you at all. Perhaps selfishness and assholery have gotten you quite far in life. But if I may share my own experience, let me advise you to, Instead of getting upset, enjoy the ride. there's a reason why they say patience is a virtue. After all, if I hadn't shown it myself, you probably wouldn't have arrived at your destination with all your teeth.

Kind regards

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