I had such a pain in the ass yesterday.

I don't mean someone at work was bothering me, or that I had any trouble with Junkii. I mean my ass was actually sore. Okay – to be accurate, it was more my tailbone, but close enough.

The pain was mostly a dull ache, but would get worse at moments when I would sit incorrectly, or stand up after sitting for too long. So it seems fair to call it a pain in the ass.

This came out of nowhere. I just woke up with it. I was pain-free when I hit the hay the night before, and when I woke up? Bam! Pain in the ass. Needless to say, I was flummoxed.

I was self-diagnosing all day long. Is it a skin problem? There doesn’t seem to be any ingrown hairs or pimples. I haven’t done anything to warrant muscle pain. Feels like a bruised bone, but when would I have cracked my coccyx? I certainly don't remember Junkii hauling off and kicking me in the middle of the night. Could it be a digestive problem? Do I need more fibre?

By nightfall, I was starting to get down about the whole thing. The pain had been fairly constant all day and I just couldn't get comfortable. So, since Junkii was busy, I decided to play a video game to distract myself. I settled into my usual position, playstation controller in hand, and that's when I discovered the cause.

When I play, I scooch down on the couch with my ass sitting right on the edge of the sofa. And as soon as I tucked into that position, the pain was the worst it had been all day. Then I remembered I had played video games the night before too – just before bedtime – in the same position. Clearly the sofa cushions (now nearly 10 years old) aren’t doing their job!

I must have stayed in that position too long, the night before the pain started, putting too much pressure on my tail bone. I bruised my butt bone! Case solved.

I was relieved to have a prognosis. Obviously I switched positions last night while gaming, and after a good night's sleep in our soft bed, my butt feels better this morning. Some lingering pain, but definitely better.

Guess it’s time for a new sofa.

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