I’m pleased to announce that my midlife crisis is over. It ended yesterday morning with a Gillette Mach3 blade…and little ceremony.

The beard had to go – my apologies in advance to those who actually liked it. I wound up over-trimming it the night before – not horribly, just enough so that, when I squinted, I could see what I would look like without it. I slept on it to make sure this wasn’t a rash decision, and then the next morning I decided in under 60 seconds to just be done with the whole thing.

And I didn’t look back.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I did have a few seconds of remorse as I was shaving it off. Aside from making me look older, I did find that I looked good with a beard – and I never did get a good portrait out of Junkii (he’s been ignoring his photography hobby). But there were other contributing factors.

  1. The Feel: I didn’t like the feel of the beard – and not just the itchiness…that DID ultimately go away. No, I’m referring to the actual feel of it with my hand (I tended to fondle my chin too much when sitting idle). It was coarse and made my hands feel constantly dirty. My low-level OCD didn’t like that one bit.
  2. The Dandruff: I’m already prone to dermatitis (and flakey skin) on my face. It’s controllable with medicated cream, but the beard meant I couldn’t apply it and I was getting some flakiness here and there. That’s just gross.
  3. The Look: I don’t like beards. I had loads of positive feedback, but ultimately the little bit of negative feedback probably had more impact on my decision, just because of my own misgivings about facial hair.
  4. The Stereotype: The world doesn’t need another bearded gay man. Beards have been the trend in the gay community for the last couple of years. Do I really need to play my part?
  5. The Kisses: This one should probably be higher up the list. Junkii never complained about the look of the beard – but his actions spoke louder than his words. Recoiling from a poke of the coarse bristles or curling up because of ticklishness made it hard for me to kiss him, and also made him less likely to approach me. I can’t imagine anything worse – I like kisses too much. This is reason enough on its own, frankly. And I’m looking forward to Junkii’s return tonight!

To those who didn’t get to see it in person…well, you’ll just have to wait until next time I forget how much I dislike facial hair and decide to try again. Give it 20 years.


5 responses »

  1. Meei says:

    One day I would invent a shield of sorts so that we can all enjoy the look and kisses of a bearded man… ….

  2. dderbydave says:

    Grew a long beard in college. Long enough to grab at my chin and still have some sprouting out the bottom. I loved it but looking at the pics I looked ridiculous. Don’t think they’re too hygienic but I still let it grow a bit when I’m not working.
    I always feel it hides a man’s face rather than adding to his features.

    Didn’t know about beards being common in the gay community. I remember handlebar moustaches being popular in the 70’s and 80’s though.

    • RoC(k)r says:

      Hadn’t thought of the hygiene aspect – another good reason for not growing one. I did find it made me feel like I needed to shampoo it any time I was in the shower.

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