My actual card hasn't arrived yet, but my Starbucks app doesn't lie.

My actual card hasn’t arrived yet, but my Starbucks app doesn’t lie.

Those who know me know I’m not a coffee drinker. That stuff’s gross if you ask me. Tastes like burnt beans. Blech. Oh, I’ve tried over and over again to develop a taste for it. But, blech.

So it might come as a surprise that I recently got my Starbucks gold card!

You coffee drinkers can spare me the details of how you’ve all had your gold card for years now. I don’t wanna hear it. But this is kind of a big deal for me. Given my distaste for Java I never thought I’d hit that kind of benchmark! (For those not in the know, Starbucks essentially has a loyalty program. You buy 30 drinks in a year and you get a gold card, which entitles you to a free beverage every 12 visits, and several other promotions.)

So if I don’t like joe, how did I get my 30 drinks, you might ask. Well, let me tell you: Starbucks has some tasty things other than coffee (gasp!). The blended coffees are, for all intents and purposes, ice cream and taste nothing like that black slodgy stuff. But of course I can’t drink dessert-with-a-hint-of-mocha every day or I’d soon look like the top of a delicious Starbucks muffin!

They have some good teas – always a good option when it’s cold – as well as tea lattes, but I think the thing that really pushed me over the top were the Refreshers. Refreshers are basically a juice/energy drink. The caffeine comes from unroasted coffee, so I get none of that disgusting ashtray taste and all of the energy, all wrapped up in a cup full of lime juice! Or Valencia orange juice if I want to switch it up. I tend to drink them before gym class on days when my energy is low.

But the real culprit here is probably my friend Jerkbag McJizz (not her real name… or is it?). McJizz and I both work downtown and there’s a Starbucks dead centre between our offices. It’s become a thing for us to text each other midweek – when work is at its most hectic – and demand some face time to bitch about life in general and to make each other laugh.

It’s awesome. A bit pricy perhaps, given how much Starbucks charges for their drinks – but well worth the time to decompress with a friend – or sometimes two friends; we do invite others on occasion to revel in our witty banter.

And now the baristas at my location have started to recognize me. Yup… I’m sucked into the cult of SBucks. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble maintaining my gold level membership. 30 drinks in a year? I’m almost halfway there already and I’ve only had this status for a month!


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